STARGAZING for the SOUL

I grew up in a small village in Fenland Canbridgeshire, although there were a few shops; a newsagents, general store and butchers; the nearest town is ten miles away. The village was always very busy, but lacked the hustle and bustle of a busy market town. During the day, traffic moved sedately up and down the high street, not just cars but cyclists, tractors and the occassional horse ridden by someone from the local stables. Surrounded by farmland, many of the villagers rely on the earth to make a living. For many I am sure that the Fens provide some interest and perhaps even mystery; but to my immature mind I just saw an expanse of crops and grass keeping me prisoner within the village. At night things changed. I've never been interested in learning the names of the constellations we see in the night sky and have never really been interested in learning how to read my future from the stars. But they did hold my captive attention almost every night as a child.

My parents live in a part of the UK that used to be unaffected by light pollution, so most clear evenings I had a fantastic view of the stars. Much like Spirit, the stars are great secret keepers and often late at night when the house was silent and I was sure my parents were in bed, I would get out of bed and go over to the window and pull back the curtains. The first thing my eyes always saw was a vertical line of three stars I called the three sisters and I liked to think that they had placed themselves there so that they could watch over me as I slept and catch my wishes. It was only relatively recently that I learnt that the constellation that I had been staring at all those years was Orion's Belt.

Something More ......

I've had connections with spirit for as long as I can remember; in my childhood mind I considered spirit as an imaginery friend. I don't remember whether there was a physical manifestation, but I am sure that it was spirit with me; it would listen to me and my thoughts.

Some of the experiences I have had stick in my mind more than others. My imagination has always been strong so I often made up fantastic stories where I was the heroine! Watching programmes about superheroes and people with extraordinary powers I was always a little jealous and wondered if I mighyt devolop a super power one day! I dreamt, so often, about waking up to find out I could fly or read minds. Like Susan Storm*, I really wanted to be the invisible girl.

In those early years I struggled with reality and imagination and because I could hear spirit , I didn't realise I actually did have a special power. Now I see the greatest strength I have is the ability to be me!

Ancient explorers like Christopher Columbus, thought that the world was flat and went on life changing voyages to prove and disprove their theories. In more recent years we have journeyed into space and taken pictures of our planet and the solar system, many of these views are available easily on the internet today.

We have known for centuries that the world is, for all intents and purposes, a giant sphere that takes up a small part of the solar system. Explorers have plotted and explored the surface of the earth many times over and yet we are still discovering new things on an almost daily basis.

We may envy those explorers for the wonderful sights that they see and the new discoveries that they make, but we are more like these adventurers than you might think. Despite what you might think your life is not linear, you do not travel from beginning to end in a single unblemished line! Think of the countless times you have worked your hardest and yet felt like you were going around in circles without getting to the end result! This is not coincidence or choice; this is when Spirit talks to you and takes over for a fleeting moment. Even if you are unable to hear spirit the message is abundantly clear:
"Stop what you are doing. Take a deep breath and step back from the situation. Give yourself a little time and the correct path will present itself."

The next time you feel you are getting no-where, try to remember this and hopefully you will reach your outcome quicker. Even more importantly remember you are NEVER alone, there is always a hidden force guiding and protecting you.
* Susan Storn is the Invisable girl in the Fantastic Four

Cluttered Minds & Distracted Thoughts

How great would it be if we all had tiny little filing cabinets in our heads to help us tidy and organise our thoughts. Neatly labelled drawers to help us compartmentalise our daily lives, alongside stray memories, hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future.

Oh to be a child again! I often find myself watching my daughter play and feel an element of envy. She has no need to worry about ten different things at once; children are allowed to be scattered and move from one thing to another without consequence. They certainly don't need to worry about going back to tasks later because they didn't havge time to finish it, or because they forgot some tiny but vital detail.

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that there have been nemerous ocassions when I have gotten up from my seat to do something, walked purposefully into another room and then.... forgotten entirely what it was that I wanted.

In modern society the motto is; rush, rush, rush. Like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland we are always late for something; never slowing down. Imagine what might happen if you stopped, just for one minute.

Try it now:

* Try to find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed, and then sit comfortably either on the floor or if you can't then sit in a chair.

* Close your eyes and take a deep cleansing breath. Imagine you are breathing new life into your body!

* Relax in this state for a few minutes concentrating on your breathing.

* When all your muscles feel revitalised and relaxed, place your hands over your eyes and when you feel ready open your eyes and move your hands away.

* Place your hands in your lap and bring your awareness back to your surroundings. What do you notice about the world that you didn't see before? Does the room you are in seem different?

** With practice you might find the results amazing and varied. **

In the past few years my life has been through many changes, not all of them good; but they have all taught me something important. Mother Naturehas given me some brilliant lessons that have helped me put my lifeb back in balance. One day in particular, I was beckoned outside by Mother Earth into the glorious sunshine; once outside she told me to simply "breathe deeply". As I did I was instantly rejuvinated by the air that filled my lungs; the thoughts inside my head slowed down and were immedietely replaced by light and love and happy freedom.

Happy little things to be thankful for!

Yesterday was my appointment at the hospital after the disasterous efforts of the epidural I had five weeks ago. We were hoping that the Consultant would say that we could go straight for surgery but that's no go as the surgeons would need absolute proof of where the pain is coming from. So now I have to wait to have tests done on the nerves in my back and right leg!

Last night I did most of my Christmas shopping online and confirmed a few other things this morning. I have organised Letters from Santa for Caitlin, my two nephews Luke and Billy and one of Caitlin's friends Pheobe. As I can't do the normal christmas baking etc... that I normally do I thought that was a good thing to do.

I am well on the way to finishing the Advent stockings for Caitlin and will be concentrating on that this afternoon, whilst Caitlin is at nursery and I have some peace and quiet. Yesterday I recieved my Life Coaching Diploma course, but I am thinking of leaving that till the start of next week when Caitlin will be staying in Dorset.

On the whole most things are looking up for us - despite the fact I am still in pain!

More spiritual updates coming soon!

Daydreams Part 2

IMPORTANT: Before reading this blog I strongly advise that you read Daydreams part 1 as this is the continuation of that post.

After that incident I forgot all about religion, spirit and anything of an esoteric/religious nature for a couple of years and put my mind on school and the mundane routine of day-to-day life. I was a lot luckier than many of the other children I went to school with in that my parents were able to afford a foreign holiday for us each year. We had been to the States to visit relatives in 1987 and then the Algarve in '88 and '89but in 1990 my parents decided on one of the Canary Islands (Lanzarote) as our destination for two weeks.

I was twelve and my sister, Helen, was seven so we were plenty old enough to appreciate the magic and beauty of the lunar landscapes on the volcanic island. Lanzarote provided new places and new adventures for me, after two holidays in a small fishing village in southern Portugal, My sister, all blonde hair and blue eyes, always loved the attention she got from the locals when we went abroad.

Despite the extraordinary landscape and fantastic history of the island our holiday might have been ordinary and un-note worthy if it hadn't been for a single defining moment, that would change my life forever....

My parents had hired a car for a few days, with the intention of seeing more of the small island. I remember them sitting outside the rented apartment each evening with a glass of wine looking at tour hiudes and brochures. In the morning my sister and I would be full of excitement at the prospect of another mystery tour. On this occasion we set out to visit a busy little market town, that had narrow cobbled streets, ancient buildings and a quaint Cathedral. The village was really sleepy and there were very few people on the streets when we arrived, but after a little exploration we found the town square where a bustling market was taking place. Tourist mingled alongside locals and all were haggling over the price of linens, fruits and trinkets that were on offer.

I have never been good in crowded places and suffer claustrophobia when I am stuck in large crowds. The visit to the market was no exception and I was frightened of getting lost in the crowd so I held on tight to my dads hand. We made slow progress through the marketplace and were surrounded on all sides by people who were also mingling. That was when things changed for me....

The streets weren't just busy with market stalls and tourists, but sights and sm ells collided with my senses and I struggled to take it all in. Trying to find a way through the crowds we were forced to stand for a moment and wait for a way through. In that moment I felt compelled to turn around; what I saw when I did is something I will NEVER forget!

The heaving mass of people behind us had gone and instead I saw a single man standing about six feet from me. His appearance was simple and in keeping with the holiday atmosphere; he wore cream shorts and a short sleaved red checked shirt. His attire made him stand out against the white-washed walls that surrounded the market square. When I looked into his eyes I saw the face of my grandfather light up in a radiant smile. I felt comforted and turned back as my dads hand pulled me forward through the crowd. I glanced back and saw that my grandfather had dissappeared and the crowd had returned.

I firmly believe that this was my first encounter with spirit; because of my young age I was shown my grandfathers form knowing that I would be comforted by the appearance of a loved one. My grandfather passed away eight days before my fifth birthday, so I have no memory of spendig time with him; I wouldn't even know what he looked like if it wasn't for family photographs.

The experience changed me profoundly and although I knew what I saw was actually my grandfathers ghost I never felt scared or unsettled. I know others who have had similar experiences and they have told me that they felt the same love, light, compassion and warmthas well.

A Bad day!

I was hoping to add the second part of my Day dreams blog today, but I'm kind of having a bad day.

My mother-in-law has posted my application form for me so I'm really excited now about getting my course materials and starting.

Anyway since I'm having such a bad day I think tonight I might just chill out and watch a DVD. We had Prince Caspian (which I think I've seen!) and Yes Man arrive in the post this morning from Tesco DVD rentals so I think that is what I'll do.

I am still waiting for Caitlin's actual book to arrive (see picture above) but I have some more ideas for it so I think I'll be working on that tonight as well.

Blessed be

Life Coaching

"Don't wait for the stars to allign, reach up and rearrange them the way you want. Create your own constellations." - Pharrell Williams

Today I have taken the first step into my future. For the past two years I have been riddled with back pain and have been bed-ridden and housebound for six months; so I have dcecided that I am going to get better and then I am going to devote my life to helping others. Tonight I have filled in an application form and cheque to do a

Diploma in Life Coaching

Here begins my new life!

Daydreams Part 1

BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS... because they believe in you.

This applies to Angels, dieties, wishes, your abilities and pretty much anything you can think of.

Spirit comes to us only when we are ready to understand and be guided by them; but some people may never me able to connect so closely with Spirit.

In a world where all types of information is available on the internet, TV, in books and newspapers etc... the ability to talk to spirit and "whisper" to ghosts is glamourised. With urban legends such as vampires, werewolves and demons being taken on by Hollywood Directors is it any wonder that many are sceptical of those with genuine powers.

Most people will not believe things unless they see them with their own eyes. Conclusive proof for the scientist in us all is often needed before we can even consider changing our lifelong beliefs. Of course we can not fail to be heavily influenced by our parents and guardians and the way in which we are raised. We build our belief systems around those of our immediete families.

Conformity for the non-Conformist

My own parents are non-believers, choosing the route of no religion rather than conforming to a single way of thinking. As a result I never spoke to them, or anyone in my family about my spiritual beliefs and ideas. In my pre-teen years I attended a few youth groups that were actually based around religious development. Discussions and activities centred around passages of scripture and some lessons were given to explore biblical stories in-depth.

I was about ten when I first started to form my own ideas about religion, with the help of the group leaders; my ideals were forming well until one day I was hit by an emotional blow that destroyed my faith in anything for a long time.

One summer evening I sat at the dining room table drawing pictures with my younger sister, when the phone rang. My mum answered and listened briefly before taking the phone into the hallway and shutting the dining room door behind her. I thought nothing of it, but a while later I was aware of my parents having a hushed conversation in the kitchen. As they spoke they glanced every now and then at my sister and I. A few days later they came to us and explained that my grandmothers dog, a West Highland White Terrier called Skip, had been poorly for some time and the vet had considered it kinder to put him to sleep so that he would not hurt any more.

Although they explained things very well and I, at least, understood why this had happened I was very upset. My mother has an allergy to dog and cat fur so we had never been allowed pets as youngsters, so my sister and I had grown extremely fond of the little dog. My sister idolised him and he was always happy to see us. After my initial grief I remembered something I had seen on TV and felt comforted. I never spoke about it to my family, but instead waited for the next youth group meeting.

A few days later i attended the group as usual and sat through the usual lessons and stories, then when everyone went off into their individual activity groups I stayed behind to speak to the groups leader. I spoke openly about the loss that I felt, feeling certain that she would confirm my thoughts and comfort me a little. "I'm very sorry dear" I remember her saying. And I replied "it's ok. All dogs go to Heaven so I will see him again oneday." I will never forget the response she gave.

"That's not true. Dogs don't have souls." And that was it, end of discussion. She walked away from me offering no compassion,, no explanation, nothing! She had merely given me the cold, hard facts as she had been taught.

I knew that her role as the leader of a religious development she was only relaying her own beliefs, but I wasn't impressed by her insensitive nature and felt even more confused and alone than I was before. Needless to say I never went back to that group and took the pledge to form my own beliefs from that point.

Rainbow Bridges

Spirit lives within each and everyone of us. They walk with us when we are strong and guide us when we are lost. They send us messages in the air around us and in our dreams.
Sadly not everyone can see or sense Spirit; if they could think how much better the world would be. For the lucky ones who can see and speak to Spirit, a sense of euphoria can be achieved. For others, who want to feel more 'at one' with Spirit, the frustration can be like chasing a rainbow; it's always on the horizon, but the more you reach for it the further away it becomes.
This is not Spirit playing tricks on us; it's more of a symptom of a 21st century 'cluttered mind'. To successfully contact or let spirit through we must de-clutter our minds and turn the rainbows into bridges that we can cross!

Connections

We are all connected to one another, in this world or the next. Through Spirit we find meaning as well as answers to all things. We get messages from Mother nature, about the special relationship we all have to the earth; if you are willing to listen you will be amazed at what you can hear! The four basic elements of Mother Nature (earth, fire, wind and water*) if we open our hearts and listen.

"I feel the Earth move"

Besides the obvious sexual cliche, this phrase has extreme significance for those of us who are intune with the elements.

I became aware of the earth calling me when my daughter was less than a year old. We are fortunate to live in an age of great change, in which the physical and spiritual worlds are merging; I consider myself VERY LUCKY to live in a beautiful part of West Sussex. Our house is less than a mile from the sea and we are surrounded by lots of green, open spaces; which is fantastic for getting to know Mother Nature.

From the moment of my daughters birth, I knew she would have a very special connection with the earth, and Spirit. Born in May, I knew she would always be yearning to get outdoors. As human beings we are born free of pre-conceptions, ideals and we have no expectations; at the moment of our births we remember our lives as they were before and for that exact moment our soul is the purest it will ever be on earth. If we remember these lives, it is a shame that as babies, we do not have the ability to communicate these feelings and memories.

Guardian Angels

Much like a lot of other new born babies my little girl used to stare into the middle distance a lot, only unlike other mothers I was convinced that she was looking at something we, as adults, could not see. It would have been easy to dismiss this as "just something that babies do" or reason that she was focusing on dust particles, but the fact that her eyes seemed to actually see something made me think otherwise. Often as I held her in my arms and looked at her I could feel the bond between us strengthen and I was also aware of a ethereal warmth and love around me. It was during these times that I realised my little girl could see the spirits of MY grandparents; her great-grandparents were quite literally watching over her in a place where she could see them and I could sense them.
As parents we clung to the fact that Caitlin had her ancestors as her guardian Angels, they brought her through her first days and weeks on earth. When she was four months old I took her to one of the biggest parks in our village; a large green space populated with ancient trees and young saplings. I spread a blanket out under the tallest tree in the park and lay my baby girl down so she could see the trees above her. She burbled happily as the sunlight danced across her face through the branches of the trees and I sat down next to her happy that she was happy. For the first few months of her life Caitlin had been in and out of Great Ormond Street hospital as she was born with breathing difficulties. Full of strength and courage she underwent several operations and fought back every step of the way.
To an outsider my trip to the park would have just looked like a routine enough thing; but to me it was an important step to creating an eternal bond with her.

'her happiness flooded into every fibre of my body;
and that day was the first time I felt 'connected' to something important'

Connected

I sat on the grass and closed my eyes for a moment and immedietely felt the earth speak to me. Like a shock of electricity coursing through me; a shiver that eminated from my soul. There were no words, it came to me more as a feeling. In a brief moment I opened my eyes and saw that my baby girl had rolled onto her stomach and was happily watching two dogs playing on the other side of the park. I bent to kiss her on the forehead and I felt another jolt; Mother Nature had more to tell me.
I crossed my legs, closed my eyes and placed my hands on the grass by my sides. Straight away I felt movement; it was slight but I definitely detected the earth's movement.
Our house is close to the sea and we have a south facing garden and soon after my experience in the park I realised that late at night when the air is still and calm I can hear the waves lapping against the rocky shoreline. The earth sent me this wonderful gift and continues to do so whenever I need to be calm.
Since that first day in the park, my ability to sense the earth's movement has increased. To most people the globe turns without a single though, day turns to night and cycle repeats silently - they never give it a single thought. But to those of us that Mother Nature has chosen, we feel that movement every single day.

And I am truly thankful for the gift!

* The Chinese also consider Wood and Metal to be elements of Mother Nature)